If you occasionally read this blog you will already know that I am married to a “mr fix it” man. This is the type of guy that believes in his heart of hearts no job in his house can be done by any professional better than he can do it himself. So why should he pay someone to do what he can do? I normaly agree with this approach. DH is quite good with most things as he is a qualified engineer. However he is not good with everything and there is always a waiting period involved in fixing what needs fixing.

Therein lies the rub.

First the man believed he can fix anything. When we had a root problem which blocked out the drains he called in a plumber. Under the pretence of helping the poor man spent the whole afternoon watching carefully what he was doing to unblock said drains. As soon as the men left he streaked off to the nearest DIY store and bought same tools. He just could not wait for the next blocked drain to rear its head so he can test his new toys. In his mind he had saved us 1000s and he probable had.

Secondly my dear hubby rarely has time to catch up with his own professional work so how in the blazes is he going to manage all the other stuff. This is an ongoing argument which unfortunately I have not won yet. DH‘s response is always “oh what’s a little waiting when saving money is involved”

Excuse me a “little waiting” ???

Nothing demonstrates just how right I am to be worried about the time delay than the story of our downstairs toilet.

1st week.

Darling daughter notices that downstairs toilet has a leak at the back where the pipe joins the wall.

DD: Dad toilet is leaking
DH: don’t worry I will fix it
Me: when
DH : As soon as I can

2nd week

DD: toilet is leaking more than ever
Me: please sort it out

DH “with a huge put upon sigh” puts down his newspaper and goes and fiddles with the toilet. Comes back confirming yes its leaking and instructs that a bucket be put under said leak as he has to buy spare parts to sort it out

3RD week

Spare parts have been bought. DH with, great excitement, recruits extremely reluctant 10-yr-old son as assistant and goes and fiddles with the toilet. Couple of hours later leak is fixed but the thingamajig inside the cistern got broken in the process. Now to use toilet you have to switch the wall tap on and off to prevent overflowing. Kids opt not use the toilet at all and start crowding upstairs bathroom. Me I start gring my teeth in sleep.

4th week

DH goes and buys the ball thingum for cistern and comes and fiddles with toilet. I come home to find bathroom sans toilet seat and cistern - facinating weird sight must say as I have never seen such a thing before- Turns out that whilst fixing the floaty thing DH discovered more trouble with other parts and decided to fix it but did not have parts.

Dear daughter decides to have a small chat with dad

DD dad when you start with a leak and end up with the guts of the toilet all laid out in the lawn behind the house it’s time to call the man.
DH what is he gonna do that I cant
DD he will fix the toilet QUICKLY
DH what are you talking about?

DD rolls eyes and gives up

Week 5

DH closes water at the mains and tinkers with the toilet for hours. It’s now a man vs object fight. At the end of the day we have a working toilet.

DH gloats about the house doing a victory dance and starts looking for other stuff to fix.

In the meantime I have noticed leak in upstairs toilet. I quietly go to Midas DIY store and I buy a sealant. I wait until DH is asleep and drown the leak with a sealant. Hopefully I have bought us some time and possoble saved us from a man vs object situation…..

God must have been on weed when he created the male species ….. I really have no doubt about this